Pledge Driven

I think most people have to agree that I am pretty smart. I am smart about remembering facts. I am smart about most life decisions. I think critically and analytically. I am a genius about picking a wife. I always did well on tests in school. I would do well on Jeopardy! I am a decent editor. And so on and so forth.

But. I am dumb when it comes to little things. I can be quite absent minded. One time I put the milk cap into my cup of milk. Wait that's not where that goes. One time I put the milk in the cupboard. I've poured milk and forgotten about it. Not to mention buying milk and forgetting to put it in the fridge. Or buying milk and putting it in the fridge then accidently buying more milk that doesn't get drankened. Good thing I am lactose intolerant now. My intolerance for lactose keeps me from ruining more milk. If there is one thing I do not tolerate, it is lactose!

Once I waited at a stop sign under the big flashing UVU advertisement sign for like 3 minutes while I waited for the light to change. And don't get me started on potlucks. I can't figure those out for the life of me.

I have worked at WGU for a year now (full-time since December). And I still find a way to screw up my timecard every single pay period. My boss must think I am completely special (we don't say retarded anymore). I don't know what is wrong with me. Every time, my boss emails me that I forgot to fill it out or email it in (when I was an independent contractor) or filled out half or filled it out but didn't save it or didn't put the right amount of hours in or worked on a holiday when I wasn't supposed to or forgot to put in my vacation time and save it or, like today, forgot to put my lunches in. Somehow I always assume I did it right this time. La de da. Then I get the email and am somehow surprised (and super embarrassed) that I am not competent in this one very easy area of an otherwise complex vocation. No thinking is even involved. Just filling out a thingy. One measly little thingy.

I think I am really good about learning from my dumb mistakes and not repeating them, but as the various milk mishaps and variations of faulty timecard filling out demonstrate, I am equally adept at discovering new ways to foul up. And it actually took me several embarrassing (AKA funny to others) failures but I got the potluck thing down. So I know I can get this right too. I vow a vow and pledge a pledge that I am going to get it right at least once. No not once. I am gonna get it right every time. But don't worry, I'll easily find something else to routinely muff up.