Proof That Monsters Exist

So this little scoundrel (only 1 inch or so) Opheliaed himself right in to a cup of water on the kitchen counter. The little devil must have sunk to the bottom to await his burial at trash when I came home. He might have struggled to climb out, feebly but who knows. The wife of course was unable to enter the kitchen until the deed was done for fear of reanimation. We would need to electrocute it for that to work or some kind of voodoo magic, silly wife. The cup of course was to be ceremoniously destroyed and the pieces were strewn into the fire pits of Tarsus. OK I washed the cup very thoroughly but rest assured I will never drink again from a cup of this color or shape again.

What's the point of all this? To prove that monsters are real of course (didn't you read the title?). What is that you say? But it's only 1 inch long! * Indeed a valid point. You get a cookie for your astute examination. Now quit interrupting with your obvious observations. I know a bug is tiny but it is all relative. If this bug (let's call him Chuck) were really big people would certainly scream. "Monster!" they would shout. And if you were tiny it would seem to be a monster. You see it's all relative. While we're at it, Rachel did scream. She screamed a whole bunch when I offered her a drink. Not thirsty, fella?

So I decided that the definition of a monster is relative to the beholder. Rachel saw a monster: I saw something unpleasant. Ergo monstrosity is in the eye (or head) of the beholder and monsters are real depending on who is being asked.

I should probably wrap this up, because that picture is grossing me out. I wonder how many of these things crawl in and out of our cups when they are not committing suicide. I wonder how many are crawling on your face at night. Monsters exist (even if they are relatively tiny most of the time). Sweet dreams.

*Insert inappropriate joke here.