Minor Issues

I have a secret. Are you ready to hear it? OK, here goes. Brace yourself for deep impact. I am half brown. Take a moment if you need to. I know it probably comes as a pretty big shock. There's more. My brownness doesn't come from a rich amazing tan that you probably assumed I have from hours basking in the golden warmth of del sol; it comes from my Mexican mother. . .dun dun dun! Yes my mom is a. . .a Mexican person.

Phew! I got a load off my brown chest. Now let's keep this our little secret. No one else needs to know. For now let's just act like I am entirely as white as white rice is white. My Mexy half is fine quietly letting the white half run things (as if he had a choice anyway).

So I do embrace my white anglo awesomeness. Is there anything wrong with that? It's totally PC to have Latino pride so why not white anglo European pride? I love my Scottishms. If I could I would deport the brown half right out of my body. If there was a way, I would put up a cement border down half my body to keep things segregated.

OK not really. I like Mexicans even if I don't necessarily super relate to that culture. They do good work. I even put that I am a Latino or whatever they're called on standardized tests so they (ugh we) look smarter overall. Honkeys don't need my high scores; they're doing well enough with their finely trimmed yards and swimming pools and Dockers and make out parties.

Also there has been a lot of talk for the past iunno forever about illegal immigrants or what have you. There is only one argument I hear: it's illegal. That is the best you got? So what. That's not a reason at all to care. Things are supposed to be illegal because they are bad, not the other way around. If that is the only reason, I am pretty sure we have a simple solution. Repel the laws!

Not to sound too offensive but we kind of want them don't we? They clean for cheap. They cook our burritos for a reasonable rate. They seem friendly enough. They don't blow up things so why are we afraid of them? Unless there is dare I say it, racism involved? That is impossible. My white side disavows any such thing. Although my brown side quietly accepts the stereotyping of my racist white side. Since my skin is brown, I can say whatever I want about whites and browns so stop judging me, racist (unless you are not 100% white then you can't be racist).

Still, these all seem like minor issues to me. That is all I have to say for now.