The Revenge Flash of a Lifetime

They don't have this concept in Utah, but in California if you're driving in the left lane and someone is speeding a lot more than you, they flash their brights at you and you have to get over. Apparently Californians think they're on the Autobahn. That's cool. So I was speeding a comfortable 9 over on our way back to Provo (they won't pull you over for 10 and under). This car who is like barely, barely going faster than me flashes me. Now that's bull because I was following a guy in front of me who is not going any faster than I.

So I change lanes to let this knucklehead through. Then he moves up a bunch then resumes his same speed. What is that all about! Then I say no way this is ending like that with him driving 100 yards ahead of us this whole time. It's car stalking time. You're dead to me, black Mazda 3.

Rachel asks me not to get us killed. I have seen Mad Max: Road Warrior too many times for that to happen. I whisper, "this is going to be the revenge flash of a lifetime."

Rachel of course doesn't seem to understand that my manhood is at stake here. So I make my way this way and that until I am just barely, barely going faster than black Mazda 3. I am so close. I got this. Then a stupid red something crappy gets between me and my pray. Like everyone knows, it's not wise to get between a Nazgul (or me) and its prey. Finally I get wedged through and I am behind black Mazda 3. He never knew what was coming. I relished the sweetest victory man can know: road domination.

I flashed and he danced. He moved right over. That's right black Mazda 3, center lane is for losers.

Then Rachel says, "are you sure that's the same car?" She points out that he looks totally oblivious to his wonton defeat.

"Don't ruin this for me."

Nothing can take this away, not even Mazda 3's happy-go-lucky expression.