Global Warming Kills Marriages

So the Gore's split up after 4 decades of cold love. Remember that one time they kissed? Like watching a robot manhandle a pig struggling for air. That's too bad that the romance ended (sarcmark).

Here's the best (saddest?) part. ABC News is wondering if Al was too successful. That's the question on my mind. Thanks for asking it, 123 News.

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Media/gore-split-defies-odds/story?id=10809713&page=1

Yeah that's the problem. If there is one thing that destroys a 40 year marriage it's career success. Good thing he was merely vice president before. Good thing he didn't get elected president. His limited political success kept that marriage alive (remember the kiss? Blech I do).

But once he got the Oscar for douchiest environmentalism, boy his marriage was shattered. If only we hadn't ruined the ozone, he would have no success at all in life and the Gores would be happily married still. If only Gorbot worked in a factory assembling cars instead of fighting against his robot kin's efforts to pollute the earth. If only!

It is inconvenient but true that global warming destroys families. Kills 'em dead.