So sometimes my wife can be a bit stubborn. Like this morning, I wanted French toast before church but was too lazy to make my own. She says we have no time and that my options are limited to having French toast or a dressed wife. I choose the former but she still refuses.
So I tried reasoning with her, "I am your husband. You have to do as I say." She laughs at this. How dare she.
Then I try appealing to her heart, "If you love me, you'll make me French toast." Clearly she has no love for me. She calls this a false dilemma. I call her insubordination a true one.
Every request to a loved one should begin with the words, "if you love me." I use it hourly. I am just trying to be like Jesus (John 14:15: If
you love me, keep my commandments).
Later that day, she steals my wedding ring and wouldn't give it back. So of course I had to tickle tackle her down a hill until I could pry it from her cold living hand.
So I am a decent wife wrangler as long as physical force and coercion triumph, but she is too much of a wild spirit yet. I need the skills of a trained wife whisperer to tame this wild heart. Or maybe I could just invest in a nose ring and a three-foot chain. That'll learn her.
You tell me what to write here. Something funny, perhaps?
ReplyDeleteIf you loved me, you wouldn't mock your husband. . .
ReplyDeleteit's like that time I was there and you told her if she loved you she'd open the door. when she didn't, you said you were gonna unscrew it, and were just about to when she finally opened it
ReplyDeleteThis blog is mildly frightening...
ReplyDeleteOnly mildly? I need to work harder next time.
ReplyDelete