So for the last few days my right eyeball felt like it was about to reach critical mass and go Chernobyl all over this place. So I agreed to go to the InstaCare, only because I thought I would earn me a sweet eye patch to wear (arrrrrrrr matey!) which it didn't. Basically I was lured to the hospital under worst kind of pretenses, false ones.
Care at InstaCare is hardly insta, especially considering they are too hurried to spell that last nt. But it was quick enough. The doctor prescribed a heavy dose of steroids for my eye. He apparently wants to pump my eye up. Great, now my eye will have to drop out of the Ocular Olympics.
So Rachel had to "administer" the eye drops. In a nutshell, eye drops are water boarding for the eye. I would have told her anything to get her to stop, including revealing the hidden rebel base of any number of rebel groups. Dantooine, they're on Dantooine! I shouted to deaf ears.
But the sadist didn't even ask any questions.
Couldn't she see that my eyes wouldn't stay open because they don't want to drown in steroid juices!
Many tears later, she finally finished her routine torturous "treatment."
And she laughed through the entire procedure. What part of me flailing about like a three-year-old and whimpering like a hurt puppy is funny?
In conclusion, I feel eye water boarding should be reserved for only the worst enemy combatants.
The part where you freak out about eye drops, clamp your eye shut, and refuse to open it again is pretty funny. You know you would laugh it it weren't you undergoing the "torture".
ReplyDeleteWow, Rachel, that's exactly what the waterboarded extremists used to say at Gitmo. What a crazy coincidence. ;)
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