Tenny for Your Thoughts?

Per Nicky's request, I am blogging about the dispute some idiots have with the 99¢ Only Store for jacking up their prices to 99.99 cents.

Where to begin?

First the nonsensical ravings. I just want to say, what the obligatory! This is a travesty of unparalleled terror. Ah! Scoundrels! Absconders!

Now to the sensical nonravings. The biggest argument is that the store's name and the prices aren't the same. This whole case is a moot point because I have been to plenty of dollar stores claiming "nothing over a dollar" yet I always point out while shopping there, "hey this thing here is 2 bucks. Liars!!" Did you know Taco Bell sells more than just tacos and has little to no bell?

Also rounding up sub-cent numbers is nothing new. Stores literally do it all the time. The people referred to as "least able to discern the difference" by their lawyers (do they even know there is a litigious lawsuit?) must assume the numbers are truncated (the .99 is simply cut off) even though the precedent used for these "seniors" entire lives was the rounding method.

Now the satire. Those greedy corporations have gone too far this time! First they give poor people loans. Then they spill my precious oil. Now they are profiting off rounded numbers!

You know we're in a tough recession when people are quivering over a tenthcent, or a tenny as I call 'em. I coined the term tenny. Get it. Coined!

Still, it is their right to charge incrementally miniscule amounts of money if they want. It's their right!

I blame Obama of course. If he spent less time hiring, then firing, then rehiring people and more time meeting the demand of micro money minting, people could pay exact change.

The solution is obvious. Uncle Sam needs to start minting the .01¢ coin (of course the profile of Obama would be featured on the iron tenny). And for convenience, so we won't have to carry around a pocket full of .01 cent pieces, we should print the .05¢ aluminum piece. I propose a caricature of Bob Hoskins to be commissioned for that.

I suppose they will have to build some very tiny machines to mint the very tiny money. They will be adorable won't they?

And on the plus side, I can buy and sell people's thoughts for an even smaller denomination.

Tenny for your comments anyone?