Schaden Freud

After I watched this dumb tabby (all cats are dumb) get suckered into a trash can, I LOL'd 'til my pants turned brown. But I know that is wrong. So awesomely wrong.

Still I have more actual guilt hearing the news about the record lows in home sales. Why guilt? Because it makes me excited to profit from the ruination of our nation. No, it's not quite schadenfreude because I wish people's lives didn't suck but a bad economy equals good news for potential home buyers like me. I see brand new luxury condos for $119,000 and get giddy with excitement.

I feel awful every time I pass a billboard pleading for a taste of my young professional dough. Luckily I don't got any but Rachel will when she graduates. By feel awful, I mean I feel awesome but guilty for not feeling bad enough.

I think stocks couldn't get any lower. Time to buy some GM stock before it goes up. I worry about having Freudian slips of glee when I hear economic woes. I have never had any trouble finding a job. Even when I was laid off or fired that one time for being mean to old people I had two replacement jobs literally the next day! (But that's a story for another day).

Since I work for an online school, the worse the economy gets, the better my career prospects are. And Rachel might choose to work for Goldman Sachs who as a bitter congress pointed out, actually prospered during (and because of) the recession. So until I get humbled (feels so eerily imminent) things are looking bright for me.

Sorry cat, I will go ahead and watch you get tricked a few more times for my sadistic pleasure. Thanks for sucking economy (this whole post is like a Freudian slip that I should delete). Oh wie schade.