The Myths of “Love Myths”

O it's magic. O, O.

So when I opened my browser this morning MSN "News" tempted me with this little tempter of a temptation shouting read me, read me! It's an article from O magazine, you know the magazine that always has Oprah's fat face on it (sometimes beside her skinny face). I'll just paste the "best" parts here to spare you, but here is the link to the whole Love Myths article. I included my responses to the psychotherapist.

"Everybody has one soul mate." "True lovers can read each other's minds." "All you need is love." A psychotherapist who's seen it all pokes holes in some of romance's little fairy tales and explains why life is saner — and happier — without them.

If we could each pick a few songs to banish from our heads, Diana de Vegh would nominate all those soggy old refrains that say there's one — and only one — true love for each of us: our better half, our shining knight, the person we'll be lost without. That line of thought, says de Vegh, a therapist in private practice [not private enough] in New York, isn't benignly corny — it's harmful, feeding what she calls the myth of love scarcity. [Yes destroy all Beatles songs while you're at it, crazy. Ever heard of the myth of the elusive Yellow Submarine? The myth of love scarcity? Yeah love is as plentiful as a good sock, easily found and replaced.]

Love is the ideological bone women have been thrown," she says, meaning that in our society, men often get the real power while women are fed the false promises of "magic candy" romance — that someone special will shower us with attention, give us our identity, read our mind, and intuit our needs. [So you hate candy and magic? And bones? I am so glad someone threw me the worthless love bone. Mmmm love bone.]

"I see women all the time who say they're looking for romantic relationships, but I believe they're really looking to be parented. [Are all women liars or just the ones that come to you for advice?] We all want to feel special and dear, with our foibles bathed in the loving glow of a doting father," she says. "At the same time that we want Daddy's strong arms, we also want a mother's sweetness and tenderness." And when the romance goes south, she says, you end up feeling like a child who's been abandoned and is lost. [Noticed you used the word we.]

"We all naturally fall in love with a handsome, married man — our fathers," she says. "They bring us out into the world. And if we're secure, we grow up to want something more interesting than parent-child love; we want an adult partnership." But the precondition for that, she says, is a good relationship with ourselves. [So you admit to falling in love with your father, sicko? Way to stereotype every woman as a pervert, pervert.]

"I think that when people say they're lonely, what they're really saying is that they don't like their own company. And something should be done about that, because if you don't like your own company, then you're the victim of whoever passes by." [I bet you are so awesome that you never leave your apartment. Did I mention you're a complete moron? Good assumption that any passerby is automatically an abuser. Speaking from experience?]

"Now when someone comes into my office and says, 'Oh, we looked at each other, and I so knew this man,' I think that maybe what she recognized was, for instance, the withholding narcissism of her father." [Withholding father? I thought every woman was in love with their daddies. Because every woman has the Electra complex like you?]

"If we really had such good parents that we felt filled up with self-respect and the ability to engage in the world, we wouldn't be waiting to be bowled over by chemistry. We'd be saying, 'Oh, you look like a good and interesting person. Here's what I think about the world; what do you think?' We wouldn't be looking to get our needs met. Adults meet their own needs." [Adults don't need love. Adults don't need nobody!]

If you're losing yourself in a relationship and he has all the power, it's important to take the self-respecting action of leaving and learning from the experience. [Agreed. Quitting is the best way to be a winner at anything.]

The best thing that can happen after a breakup is that you declare, I give up any hope of ever being parented the way I wish I'd been when I was a child. [Whatever you say Freud.]

"You might have to grieve for that loss," she says. "And there will be moments in a healthy partnership when you can say, 'I'm brain-dead and hysterical. Draw me a bath and put in some rubber duckies.'" But that's temporary. We have to give up the longing to be the child in the relationship, she says. The good news is that once we do, we're free to find love that's genuinely pleasure based. [I wholly agree. You are brain dead. Pleasure-based love, huh? That sounds. . .interesting.]

In summary this lady is bitter and alone. Did I mention she had an affair with JFK and bases her life views on that "failed" affair? I guess it was hard to compete with the presidents others slutty groupies. I wonder if she got busy with Clinton. She's probably just mad that Obama rejected her. She and Freud had a little too much in common, i.e., they were both crazies basing their crazy theories on a series of experiences with other crazies. She probably has a powdered nose too. What are the odds that this idiot isn't the most experienced expert in failed relationships?