Department 45

So I had an eye infection or something. I don't know what it was exactly and the doctors didn't seem to care what it was either. Anyway so let's just call it iHurt. I saw the InstaCare people. The doctor prescribed some stuff that may or may not have worked (it could just be going away on its own).

Then I followed up with an eye specialist who basically knew nothing about my iHurt.

Then I got a letter from the insurance companying. It was a bill for the full $202 for the first visit to the InstaCare. They denied my claim.

The reason?

"314 THIS CLAIM IS DENIED, WE NEED THE DATE THE ILLNESS WAS DIAGNOSED AND IF THERE IS CONTINUOUS TREATMENT INCLUDING PRESCRIPTIONS, PLEASE RETURN RECORDS TO DEPARTMENT #45."

Apparently there is at least 314 ways to screw people out of health insurance.

Also don't these people know how to use commas properly? That is a run on sentence!

What records do I need exactly?

Where is department 45? If I write department 45 on an envelope, the mailman will know what to do with it right?

I have to assume department number 45 is one of the sublevels of Hades. Maybe it is a department inside Area 51.

There is more to the letter, mostly legal gibberish but this part made me smile:

"Understanding your health care options can be confusing. Regence takes out the guesswork."

Also is my insurance Regence or Blue Cross/Blue Shield? I am confused.

And when I called the insurance company the guy said the claim was denied because they couldn't know it wasn't a preexisting condition.

What. The. Beeping. Beep?

I guess that is what the letter meant when it said it needed the date the illness was diagnosed. Funny, I thought I went to the doctor to get that.

Speaking of diagnosis, I am still waiting for one.

The insurance underling said my insurance had a 9 month long thing about preexisting conditions.

I have had this insurance since January first and you think I decided to wait until last week to have my exploding eye examined? How long do you think this eye infection or whatever it is lasts?!

Anyway the only reason the insurance guy can get this maybe approved is by calling my previous insurance to prove I had insurance before getting Regence.

That's freaking stupid but luckily I had insurance before having insurance otherwise I couldn't use my insurance.

He also said I would probably keep getting denied until the 9 months was up.

BTW there is a fraud hotline on the back of the letter. Do you think if I called it, I could report Regence/Blue Cross/Blue Shield?

 

316 THIS CLAIM IS DENIED, IN THE SPACE THAT SAYS DO NOT WRITE IN THIS SPACE, THE NURSE ACCIDENTLY DOTTED AN I

419 THIS CLAIM IS DENIED, THE PATIENT MUST PROVIDE PROOF THAT THE BROKEN LEG DID NOT OCCUR BEFORE BIRTH, SEND REPORTS TO DEPARTMENTS 12-14, 16, 34, 89, AND 101

665 THIS CLAIM IS DENIED, DOCTOR DID NOT PROVE THAT PATIENT DID NOT INGEST TAPEWORM ON PURPOSE, READMINISTER LIE DETECTOR AND AUTOPSY, SEND REPORTS TO DEPARTMENT 45

666 THIS CLAIM IS DENIED, DEPARTMENT 45 HAS BEEN DISSOLVED, RECORDS PURGED, WITNESSES BURNED