Soylent Green Is Good People!

I asked Rachel if I could put a copy of Goya's "Saturn Devouring His Son" up in our dining room, and can you believe she said no?

As this post will prove, there is something severely wrong with me. But I just don't know what so maybe you can help me figure out what.

The other day I was listening to the radio program "All Things Liberal Considered" on National Progressive Radio (NPR). Robert Livingston Siegel (Seagull) was reporting on the terrifying feeling he gets when he drives through Donner Pass. Good reporting Bobby. But he then he said that there was new DNA evidence that showed the Donner Party had eaten cows and other things but not each other. "Phew!" He actually said phew, as if a great big ol' burden had been lifted off him. Well I have a few questions for him.

1) Why do you even care?

2) How does this affect you or the dead in any way at all?

3) What difference does it make if they did or did not eat the dead members of their party?

4) Can people get mad people disease from eating each other [yes this is a real question]?

. . .

47) What do humans taste like?

48) Is it wrong that I am curious?

49) Is there a difference between ethnicities in taste?

50) Is it wrong that I would have like no qualms eating a human? Correction: how deranged does that make me?

Hannibal Lecture didn't seem too unreasonable to me. He doesn't scare me because he typical only eats rude people, bad musicians, evil men, and cops who get in his way. I am none of those things aside from the musician thing and only slightly evil but I don't play where he can hear so he won't care. That doesn't seem so bad. It is super wrong to murder, granted. However, he is less wasteful than any other serial killer out there except for Buffalo Bob who made clothes out of his victims. Now that is some recycling! If Hannibal and Bob got together, they could really make use of a corpse. The Native Americans of old had nothing on these too.

I just think it is currently unnecessary here in the well-fed (over-fed) America but down south, they could sure use a little cannibalism right about now. I wouldn't care if someone ate my dead body, especially if they were really hungie. I am dead, not gonna need it anyway for a while. Maybe there is a good scientific reason not to eat people. The only good reason is possible mad human disease which I just made up.

The Martians don't have this silly taboo and look how good things turned out for them. "A different example of cannibal culture in literature is found in the science fiction novel Stranger in a Strange Land (1981) by Robert A. Heinlein, where some human culture is transformed as a result of the Martians practice of eating one's dead friends as an act of great respect."

On another note, if you have never seen the film Solyent Green then you should watch it right now. Stop reading this blog post and watch it right now this second. In it Charlton Heston is a detective who discovers that Soylent Green is people! But the people are rioting from hunger so I think they should keep selling it. Is that so wrong? Am I the only person who has ever seen the ending to Soylent Green and thought, soylent green is people? So what? That seems like a great way to recycle.