Blogger Brawl? Blogger Bah

I have had a couple different friends request on Facespace that I support their friends by voting for their boring long obnoxious garbage in Blogger Brawl (on Mormon Times of course, which I know as the place where 20-something Mormons fight for laughs and tears through quips about their dating life and the effects of the Restoration that is just so down to earth and original!). That's cool. But shouldn't they win on their own merit? It shouldn't be an advertising/popularity contest. That is how politics works, and Blogger Brawl seems much too high brow for that sort of thing. I went ahead and voted for the two friends of friends but only because I kind of thought the friends of friend's blogs were unmeasurably less obnoxious and boring.

I thought to myself, if I focused my blogginess toward an audience that didn't consist primarily of Rachel and the other few people who peruse this thing, then maybe I could compete in this brawl as it were. I could methodically yank at the heart strings with manipulative anecdotes and probably regale some witty-ish yarns. Maybe. Typically my jokes are no good but people seem to laugh at me all the time when I am not trying to be funny.

However, it is pretty hard to write a blog that would be even semi-interesting to someone I don't know. Also, I don't like the idea of writing a "Mormon" blog anyway. Why can't I just write a blog and be a Mormon? Does everything Mormons read have to be Mormon something? We have Mormon this and Mormon that. For those of you non-Mormons reading this, don't get the wrong idea: Mormonism is the best thing ever and you should immerse yourself in Mormon culture right now [sarcasm unintentional but possibly unavoidable]. Seriously the Book of Mormon is the best thing ever. Go read that right now.

I am not really what you would call the competitive type. I also like writing the kind of amateur stuff that only my few friends would enjoy anyway, and only because they know me and my crazy (please read the word with excessive emphasize) antics. Also I wouldn't be able to lose my cynicism and dark sarcasm and maintain my own style. I am too attached to it for some reason. My real "humor" is too subtle for even my wife to get. We're still on our sweet regurgitation lunar phase but she is starting to realize, as even my family continually fails to see, I am never really that serious; I only pretend to be. OK sometimes I am but it can be hard to distinguish. Same diff. What does that even mean? Same difference? It's gibberish!

Still clandestinely (blogs are clandestine if no one reads them ya?) I really want someone to say "Jonathan [even though people don't usually call me Jonathan outside the Bohmen circle], you should compete on Blogger Brawl!" To which I will thoughtfully and humbly reply, "Blogger Brawl? Blogger bah."