Chistmas Present is Present

First am I the only one who gets a disturbing image in my head when I hear, "Jack Frost nipping at your nose"? Maybe if they didn't go through all the trouble of personifying Jack Frost I wouldn't picture a frigid little man chomping on someone's schnoz.

The Carpenters teach us that "Christmas past is past." So insightful! Tell us something we don't know. Let me guess, Christmas present is present and Christmas future is, I don't know, future maybe.

The radio station keeps advertising that it plays continuous Christmas music. Liars! Any editor who is worth their weight in salt knows that radio people really meant continually. Continuous means uninterrupted. Unless yakking about playing continuous music and commercials about whatever it is they're selling count as Christmas music, I think we have a class action law suit on our hands.

Speaking of commercials, the Honda commercial sings "Holiday, oh holiday, and the best one of the year." Ugh. If I had any gears you could consider them totally grinded (or grounded?). I know they are a foreign car manufacturer, but they can afford to pay a native speaker to show them how to use English conjunctions correctly.

I wish you a merry Christmas. So bring me some frigg'n pudding.