Bowser Family Tree

In response to my friend's blog about the mysterious Bowser family, I will now provide the answers he seeks.

Where did King Koopa get these seven spawn plus an eighth? Who is their mama? Is Bower's name really Morton?

First of all, those 7 Koopa Kids are all from Bowser's harem or from women (koopas) on the side, obviously all born to different mothers, as the hair color and height and width of each child shows us. This explains Morton Jr.'s name, and why he can't be called Bowser Jr. Meanwhile Bowser actually had a legitimate child named Bowser Jr. with the unseen Queen Koopa. Then Bowser devoured her once he had his heir. Now he is free to marry Princess Peach and legally claim the Mushroom Kingdom by doing so. He may be lots of things, but Bowser is no polygamist. This is why Bowser Jr. is the favored koopaling over those other seven.

And those "kids" are accomplices in kidnapping. They should be tried as adults.

Oh and about that Mega Man question. His guns run on acid alien blood, so he must dispose of them properly after every adventure, you know like batteries, motor oil, or baby vomit.