El Scorcho

So I was working from home today. And I decided to cook up a steak for lunch. But it was taking so long and I was so, so hungry. So I decided to speed up the grilling process by adding a tad extra lighter fluid to the charcoal briquettes. They kept going out and I wanted to use what is called the direct method of barbequing (that is it uses fire instead of lame slowpoke ashes). I squeezed out a smidge extra lighter fluid and lit it. BOOM! The fireball was huge. The massive smoke made me tear up a little but I was fine, though a little shocked by the huge fire. And I had to use a broom to push the flaming rack back into the grill. When my meat was finished I enjoyed it thoroughly. Then I got the feeling that I had a ton of dried A1 sauce on my beard. When I went to wash it out, I discovered the horrible truth. It wasn’t dried steak sauce. The left side of my face was all covered in orangey hairs. They even flew up into my head. Basically I burned those suckers up. Apparently I had used the direct method to cook my face. I didn’t think to take a picture and I washed most of the burnt stuff out and you can barely see the remaining crispers. I can still smell BBQ on my left cheek. The end.