The Mutant Leftovers that Almost Ate Me

I forgot my “empty” container of cottage cheese and pineapple at my work desk. When I returned four days later, it had grown a face, like a thick membrane scientist call skin. I think it winked at me. So to avoid making my resident pregnant coworker throw up when she came in, I swiftly hobbled to the kitchen (I was using a cane) to wash it out of existence. I think it was crying when I washed it down the disposal. Then the drain clogged and it came up in the other sink’s drain. It was the cottage cheese/pineapple hybrid of unstoppable death! This time the face looked angry: it was out for revenge. But I drowned it out with about a gallon of liquid soap. The end.