The Mutant Leftovers that Almost Ate Me

I forgot my “empty” container of cottage cheese and pineapple at my work desk. When I returned four days later, it had grown a face, like a thick membrane scientist call skin. I think it winked at me. So to avoid making my resident pregnant coworker throw up when she came in, I swiftly hobbled to the kitchen (I was using a cane) to wash it out of existence. I think it was crying when I washed it down the disposal. Then the drain clogged and it came up in the other sink’s drain. It was the cottage cheese/pineapple hybrid of unstoppable death! This time the face looked angry: it was out for revenge. But I drowned it out with about a gallon of liquid soap. The end.

Back to the Prison

I just had a Back to the Future epiphany; Biff should probably be in jail or worse. Am I the only person on the planet who thinks this guy got off easy? He tried to run Marty over when Marty invented the skateboard (ramming him into a manure truck would probably kill a skateboarder without a helmet and knee pads). He basically tried to rape Marty’s mom for crepe’s sake. Then he murders George in an alternate timeline and attempts to murder Marty (and would murder the crazy wild-eyed scientist too).

After George’s life altering punch, you think Biff learned his lesson? H no. He tries to kill Marty again while Marty is stealing the Sports Almanac out of the car.

Then George let’s this manure head into his home and allows him to wax his cars “Oh Biff, always trying to pull something. First he tries raping my beloved, now he is trying to con me on this car wash. Ha ha, good times.” Even when it’s apparent that he is trying to swindle him! If somebody tried manhandling Rachel at the prom, do you think I would pay him to wax my anything?

And that is the most unbelievable part of the Back to the Future series.

Oh and why would they still live in the same house even though he is rich and prosperous? I assume they just always wanted to live in that exact house (except when George is killed and black people move in when the property value goes down).